Welcome to Jim Rohn's Weekly E-zine
Issue 382 - March 5, 2007

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Here is a good question to ask yourself. Ten years from now you will surely arrive. The question is, where? We don't want to kid ourselves about where; we don't want to kid ourselves about the road we're walking.

At age 25, I had a day shortly after I met Mr. Shoaff called "do not kid myself anymore" day. I didn't want to be disillusioned anymore. Up until then, I had been using the crossed-finger theory. But after meeting Mr. Shoaff, I finally decided that the crossed-finger theory was not going to get me what I wanted. That it wasn't where the treasure lies. That I was going to have to make sure which way I was headed

Then, with the help of Mr. Shoaff, I found with a few reading disciplines, and a few disciplines of mind, and a few disciplines of activity, that when exercised, can begin making all the difference in the world as to where you will arrive.

Just a few changes. Sometimes we get the idea that we're doing about 10% and there's about 90% more that we need in order to make the difference for our fortune but probably the opposite is true. We're doing enough things to have bought and shared in the good life so far. And maybe all we need is that extra 5% or 10% of intellectual change. Activity change. A refinement of discipline. A refinement of thought. And all we need is the ideas to make those simple changes and the equity starts gathering in one year, three years, five years, ten years.

I have a good comment for you: Now's the time to fix the next 10 years. Now, you may have to come to grips with reality and with truth; that's what was good for me when I met Mr. Shoaff, I was 25 years old, he was 44 years old. And he brought me a wealth of experience and he started asking me the tough questions. "Big question", he said, "Are you reading the books that are going to take you where you want to go in the next 5 years?"

Excellent question. See, you want to make sure. I would assume for all of you, to get to where you want to be in the next 5 years, you are either reading the right books or you're not. You're either engaged in the disciplines or you're not. But, here's what we don't want to engage in: disillusion. Hoping without acting. Wishing without doing.

The key is to take a look and say, "Where am I? What could I do to make the changes to make sure that I can take more certain daily steps toward the treasure I want, the mental treasure, the personal treasure, the spiritual treasure, the financial treasure? I don't want to make any more errors, now's the time to adjust my daily program to take me where I want to go."

In lecturing the last 39 years, I've gotten letters and personal testimonies of people that have done such remarkable things with just a few suggestions. And that is why seminars, tapes and books can be so valuable. Here's a key idea for us all to remember: We could all use a little coaching. When you're playing the game, it's sometimes hard to see it all.

But the key is to start right now making these changes to walk this new road. And here's what's exciting to me, just a few daily disciplines makes a great deal of difference in one year, three years, five years. And before you know it, you will be walking a brand new road.

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn


This article is excerpted from Jim Rohn's Take Charge of Your Life 6 CD program which is part of our special $49 Sale this week. To learn what titles are available at this special price go to http://sp3.yoursuccessstore.com or call 800-929-0434.

 

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2. Vitamins for the Mind by Jim Rohn

Career/Marketplace

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3.  Life Would Be Easy... If It Weren't for DIFFICULT People by Connie Podesta

Go on, it's okay. Admit it! We all know that life would be a whole lot easier if we didn't have to deal with those few (or many) difficult people we just can't seem to avoid. I think you know who I'm talking about.

What's not okay is to give up something you need, want or deserve because of their rude, obnoxious, sullen, and apathetic habits. Yes, I do mean "habits". If you're tired of playing their game, take charge of your life by taking a good look at yourself! You can not change them, but you can change what you do and how you act around them - and ultimately how they affect your life.

The Good News... and the Bad News

Difficult people have been trained and taught to act the way they do since they were children. In fact, they have been rewarded for their negative behavior throughout their entire lives. Difficult behavior worked for them as children - and more important, it continues to work for them as adults.

I believe that most of us are born with the capacity and desire to love and be loved. As we grow, we learn to respond to verbal and visual cues and we begin to adjust our behavior to obtain the positive responses we want. Children who can manipulate their parents soon learn to enjoy feelings of power and control over others.

The game of life is basically about "getting our needs met." And you certainly do play a part! We reward difficult people by giving in to their needs. Think about it. If someone's behavior is consistently inappropriate or unacceptable toward you, ask yourself if in any way you are rewarding their negative behavior.

For example, Helen gets upset every time Harry mentions that he wants to play golf. Rather than face a 2-hour lecture he usually finds it easier to just stay home. One day, however, he gets angry and accuses her of being a nag who never understands him. Instead of answering back, Helen gets her feelings hurt, stomps off and gives him the silent treatment. Harry takes advantage of her "cold shoulder" and plays a few holes of golf!

Jennifer wins the same "reward" at her new school. Few of the kids would talk to her and some were even making fun of her. She asked to stay in during recess, but the teacher said no. Eventually she gets into a fight and pushes another girl down. The teacher tells Jennifer that fighting is against the rules and she will have to stay inside. What did Jennifer learn? Ask the teacher respectfully and you will not get what you want. Push someone and you can avoid recess!

We have three choices each time we respond to another person: 1. Be positive; 2. Be negative; and 3. Avoid or ignore them. Difficult people see avoidance as a positive response. When we ignore unacceptable, inappropriate behavior, it will usually happen again because our avoidance tells the difficult person that we are willing to accept their behavior.

What do they really want?

Difficult people want to do their own thing, in their own time, in their own way, without interference. In addition, they expect everyone around them to cooperate - even work extra hard - to ensure that this happens. And they do not see anything unreasonable about these expectations. There is little in their experience to signal them that their actions are inappropriate. They also have little (if any) desire or motivation to change their habits.

What can I do about it?

We learn a lot from difficult people. We tolerate their behavior and attitudes as "part of life." We hold back our feelings and swallow our words. We make concessions even when we do not receive anything in return. We compromise even when it is 90/10 instead of 50/50. We may even question our own ability to relate and communicate with others reasoning that "Maybe it's me."

Since we cannot change difficult people, we can only change our selves and our reactions to their behavior. They need our cooperation and our permission to intimidate, control and repeatedly manipulate us to get their way. In most relationships, we are treated exactly the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

The good news is that because we are partly responsible there is something we can do to create and maintain relationships where we are treated respectfully. That's great news! By focusing on our selves and the changes we can make in our own behaviors and reactions, we can begin to take control of how other people treat us - today!

Take Action!

Think about two difficult people in your life.
Identify the behaviors of these difficult people.
Ask yourself if you could possibly be rewarding these difficult people.
Would they describe you as the difficult person? If so, what would they say?


This article is by Connie Podesta who is part of our special $49 Sale this week. To learn what titles are available at this special price go to http://sp3.yoursuccessstore.com or call 800-929-0434.

Connie Podesta is an author, counselor, educator, humorist, playwright, consultant, songwriter, actress and trainer. She radiates a super-charged, high-energy presence that immediately involves people and has them responding to her exciting challenge to reach for the best in themselves! With her talent for humor, flair for drama and unique insight into human behavior, Connie delivers solid content and practical techniques that can be put to use immediately at work and home. She was also recently named one of The Top 26 Hot Speakers for 2006 by Successful Meeting Magazine, December 2006 issue.


 

"All values must be won by contest, and after they have been won, they must be defended." Jim Rohn

4. The $49 Sale!

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"The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become. That is why I wish to pay fair price for every value. If I have to pay for it or earn it, that makes something of me. If I get it for free, that makes nothing of me."  Jim Rohn