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"Leadership is the great challenge of the 21st century in science, politics, education, and industry. But the greatest challenge in leadership is parenting. We need to do more than just get our enterprises ready for the challenges of the twenty-first century. We also need to get our children ready for the challenges of the 21st century." Jim Rohn
Today's issue includes:
1. The Best Gift to Give Yourself and Others by Jim Rohn
2. Vitamins for the Mind - Fascination by Jim Rohn
3. Life Would be Easy if it Weren't for DIFFICULT People by Connie Podesta
4. Living a Successful Life
5. More Information
1. The Best Gift to Give Yourself and Others by Jim Rohn
I'm often asked the question, "How can I best help my children, spouse, family member, staff member, friend etc. improve/change?" In fact that might be the most frequently asked question I receive, "How can I help change someone else?"
My answer often comes as a surprise and here it is. The key to helping others is to help yourself first. In other words, the best contribution I can make to someone else is my own personal development. If I become 10 times wiser, 10 times stronger, think of what that will do for my adventure as a father... as a grandfather... as a business colleague.
The best gift I can give to you, really, is my ongoing personal development. Getting better, getting stronger, becoming wiser. I think parents should pick this valuable philosophy up. If the parents are okay, the kids have an excellent chance of being okay. Work on your personal development as parents; that's the best gift you can give to your children.
If you have ever ridden in an airplane, then you might have noticed the oxygen compartment located above every seat. There are explicit instructions that say "In case of an emergency, first secure your own oxygen mask and then if you have children with you then secure their masks." Take care of yourself first... then assist your children. If we use that same philosophy throughout our whole parental life, it would be so valuable.
If I learn to create happiness for myself, my children now have an excellent chance to be happy. If I create a unique lifestyle for myself and my spouse, that will be a great example to serve my children.
Self-development enables you to serve, to be more valuable to those around you; for your child... your business... your colleague... your community... your church.
That's why I teach development skills. If you keep refining all the parts of your character, yourself, your health, etc. so that you become an attractive person to the marketplace - you'll attract opportunity. Opportunity will then begin to seek you out. Your reputation will begin to precede you and people will want to do business with you. All of that possibility is created by working on the philosophy that success is something you attract by continually working on your own personal development.
To Your Success,
Jim Rohn
To read previous articles and quotes from the Jim Rohn Weekly E-zine Archives, or to get a complete listing of Jim Rohn's books, audios, videos and seminar schedule, or to place an order; please go to: http://www.jimrohn.com or call 800-929-0434 M-F 8:00-5:30 CST.
2. Vitamins for the Mind by Jim Rohn
Fascination
Fascination is one step beyond interest. Interested people want to know if it works. Fascinated people want to learn how it works.
Learn how to turn frustration into fascination. You will learn more being fascinated by life than you will by being frustrated by it.
I'm on my way to the airport to catch a plane that leaves in 45 minutes. The traffic is not moving one inch. I am now fascinated - not frustrated, but fascinated. But I must admit, it doesn't work every time.
Develop a childlike fascination with life and people.
Vitamins for the Mind is a weekly sampling of original quotes, on a specific topic, taken from The Treasury of Quotes by Jim Rohn (TTOQ). TTOQ, a beautiful, burgundy hardbound book with gold foil lettering, is a collection of over 365 quotes on 60 topics gathered from Jim's personal journals, seminars and books spanning over 39 years. To order the TTOQ by Jim Rohn or Excerpts from TTOQ by Jim Rohn or Brian Tracy, please go to Jim Rohn's Online Catalog
3. Life Would Be Easy... If It Weren't for DIFFICULT People by Connie Podesta
Go on, it's okay. Admit it! We all know that life would be a whole lot easier if we didn't have to deal with those few (or many) difficult people we just can't seem to avoid. I think you know who I'm talking about.
What's not okay is to give up something you need, want or deserve because of their rude, obnoxious, sullen, and apathetic habits. Yes, I do mean "habits". If you're tired of playing their game, take charge of your life by taking a good look at yourself! You can not change them, but you can change what you do and how you act around them - and ultimately how they affect your life.
The Good News... and the Bad News
Difficult people have been trained and taught to act the way they do since they were children. In fact, they have been rewarded for their negative behavior throughout their entire lives. Difficult behavior worked for them as children - and more important, it continues to work for them as adults.
I believe that most of us are born with the capacity and desire to love and be loved. As we grow, we learn to respond to verbal and visual cues and we begin to adjust our behavior to obtain the positive responses we want. Children who can manipulate their parents soon learn to enjoy feelings of power and control over others.
The game of life is basically about "getting our needs met." And you certainly do play a part! We reward difficult people by giving in to their needs. Think about it. If someone's behavior is consistently inappropriate or unacceptable toward you, ask yourself if in any way you are rewarding their negative behavior.
For example, Helen gets upset every time Harry mentions that he wants to play golf. Rather than face a 2-hour lecture he usually finds it easier to just stay home. One day, however, he gets angry and accuses her of being a nag who never understands him. Instead of answering back, Helen gets her feelings hurt, stomps off and gives him the silent treatment. Harry takes advantage of her "cold shoulder" and plays a few holes of golf!
Jennifer wins the same "reward" at her new school. Few of the kids would talk to her and some were even making fun of her. She asked to stay in during recess, but the teacher said no. Eventually she gets into a fight and pushes another girl down. The teacher tells Jennifer that fighting is against the rules and she will have to stay inside. What did Jennifer learn? Ask the teacher respectfully and you will not get what you want. Push someone and you can avoid recess!
We have three choices each time we respond to another person: 1. Be positive; 2. Be negative; and 3. Avoid or ignore them. Difficult people see avoidance as a positive response. When we ignore unacceptable, inappropriate behavior, it will usually happen again because our avoidance tells the difficult person that we are willing to accept their behavior.
What do they really want?
Difficult people want to do their own thing, in their own time, in their own way, without interference. In addition, they expect everyone around them to cooperate - even work extra hard - to ensure that this happens. And they do not see anything unreasonable about these expectations. There is little in their experience to signal them that their actions are inappropriate. They also have little (if any) desire or motivation to change their habits.
What can I do about it?
We learn a lot from difficult people. We tolerate their behavior and attitudes as "part of life." We hold back our feelings and swallow our words. We make concessions even when we do not receive anything in return. We compromise even when it is 90/10 instead of 50/50. We may even question our own ability to relate and communicate with others reasoning that "Maybe it's me."
Since we cannot change difficult people, we can only change our selves and our reactions to their behavior. They need our cooperation and our permission to intimidate, control and repeatedly manipulate us to get their way. In most relationships, we are treated exactly the way we allow ourselves to be treated.
The good news is that because we are partly responsible there is something we can do to create and maintain relationships where we are treated respectfully. That's great news! By focusing on our selves and the changes we can make in our own behaviors and reactions, we can begin to take control of how other people treat us - today!
Take Action!
Think about two difficult people in your life.
Identify the behaviors of these difficult people.
Ask yourself if you could possibly be rewarding these difficult people.
Would they describe you as the difficult person? If so, what would they say?
Living a successful life can seem like a never-ending challenge when trying to balance family, friends, workplace and personal time.
To master any game, players need to learn the rules, practice hard, commit to an objective and "play" with integrity -- yet many people don't live their lives applying the same energy, forethought, practice or good "sportsmanship" as they apply to sports or even a board game.
To learn more about Life Would Be Easy if it Weren't for Other People (part of The Best Of Connie Podesta 6 CD series) by Connie Podesta and the very special offer we have this week go to
http://conniepodesta.yoursuccessstore.com or call 877-929-0439. C 2004, 2005 Connie Podesta.
"Your family and your love must be
cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned
constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing." Jim Rohn
4. Living a Successful Life
Living a successful life can seem like a never-ending challenge when trying to balance family, friends, workplace and personal time.
To master any game, players need to learn the rules, practice hard, commit to an objective and "play" with integrity -- yet many people don't live their lives applying the same energy, forethought, practice or good "sportsmanship" as they apply to sports or even a board game.
To learn more about Life Would Be Easy if it Weren't for Other People (part of The Best Of Connie Podesta 6 CD series) by Connie Podesta and the very special offer we have this week go to
http://conniepodesta.yoursuccessstore.com or call 877-929-0439.
"If you talk to your children, you can help them to keep their lives together. If you talk to them skillfully, you can help them to build future dreams." Jim Rohn
5. More Information
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"The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, 'If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.' Now I say, 'I will take care of me for you if you will take care of you for me.'" Jim Rohn
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