The Philosophy of Personal Responsibility

A man said to me once — and this stayed with me for years — he said, "Jim, I'd be doing better if it wasn't for my company."

I said, "Interesting. Tell me more."

He said, "Well, they don't pay enough. The economy's rough. My territory is the worst in the region."

I said, "Let me ask you something. How long have you worked there?"

He said, "Twelve years."

I said, "Twelve years with a company that doesn't pay enough, in a territory you say is the worst? My friend, that's not a job problem. That's a you problem."

He didn't like that much. But here's what I've found out — the truth isn't always comfortable, but it's always useful.

The Liberating Discovery

See, most people hear "personal responsibility" and they think it means blame. They think I'm saying, "It's your fault you're broke. It's your fault you're unhappy. It's your fault your marriage is struggling."

That's not what I'm saying at all.

What I'm saying is this: if you created your current results — through your decisions, your disciplines, your philosophy — then you have the power to create different results.

We call that empowerment, not blame.

Somebody says, "But Jim, I didn't choose to be born where I was born. I didn't choose my parents. I didn't choose the economy."

And I say, "You're absolutely right. You didn't choose where you started. But you did choose where you are now. And you'll choose where you end up."

Right?

Here's a good phrase to know: circumstances do not determine destiny — responses do.

The same economy that's bankrupting one business is making another one rich. The same city that's holding one person back is launching another person forward. The same twenty-four hours that one person wastes, another person invests.

What's the difference? It isn't the circumstances. It's the person.

The Trap of External Blame

Now, let me tell you why external blame is so tempting. It feels good. At least for a moment.

If my life isn't working and it's the government's fault, then I don't have to change. If my business is failing and it's the economy's fault, I can keep doing what I'm doing. If my relationships are struggling and it's everyone else's fault, I get to stay comfortable.

External blame is comfortable. But it's also a trap.

Because here's what happens when you blame external forces: you give away your power. The moment I say, "They won't let me succeed," I've made myself helpless. I've handed the keys to my future to someone else.

A fellow asked me one time, "Don't you think some people really are victims of their circumstances?"

I said, "Of course. But being a victim and staying a victim are two different things."

He said, "What do you mean?"

I said, "Some people get knocked down by circumstances they didn't choose. That's life. But the decision to stay down? That's a choice. And choices have consequences."

He thought about that for a while.

The Seed and the Soil

Let me give you a quick illustration.

A farmer plants a seed. The seed doesn't grow. Now, he could blame the seed. He could blame the weather. He could blame the supplier who sold him the seed.

Or he could check the soil.

See, the soil is what the farmer controls. The soil is his philosophy, his attitude, his disciplines. Some soil is fertile — ready for growth. Some soil is hard and dry — nothing can take root.

If you're not getting the results you want, check your soil. Don't curse the seed.

And here's what I discovered working with Mr. Shoaff all those years ago. I was broke, in debt, making excuses. I blamed my job. I blamed my education. I blamed the people around me.

Mr. Shoaff said, "Jim, let me ask you something. What if the problem isn't out there? What if the problem is you?"

That stung. I didn't want to hear it.

But then he said something that changed my life. He said, "If the problem is you, that's the best news you could get. Because you can change you. You can't change the economy. You can't change the government. You can't change your boss. But you can change you — starting today."

Three Places to Check

When your results aren't what you want, there are only three places to check.

First, check your philosophy. What do you believe about success? About money? About what's possible for someone like you? A faulty philosophy will produce faulty results every time.

Second, check your attitude. How do you feel about your work? About learning? About the future? A negative attitude is like driving with the parking brake on. You can still move, but everything takes three times the effort.

Third, check your disciplines. What do you do every day? What books are you reading? What habits are you building? Disciplines are where philosophy meets reality. Without disciplines, philosophy is just good ideas that never go anywhere.

Somebody says, "Well, I check the news every day. I check interest rates."

I say, "That's not where the problem usually is. The problem is closer to home."

The Challenge

Here's what I want you to do this week.

Take a piece of paper. Write down three results in your life you're not happy with. Could be finances. Could be health. Could be relationships. Whatever's bothering you.

Now, next to each one, write down what you've been blaming. The economy. Your spouse. Your boss. Your age. Whatever story you've been telling yourself.

Then — and this is the hard part — cross out those external factors. And write down this question: What could I do differently?

Not what could they do differently. What could you do differently?

You might not like what you find. That's okay. The purpose isn't to feel good. The purpose is to get better.

My friend, your life is your own design. You're both the architect and the builder. If you don't like the building, you have the blueprints. You have the tools. You have the ability to tear down walls and build new ones.

That's not blame. That's freedom.

And freedom, I've discovered, is worth the discomfort of facing the truth about yourself.