Your Life Is Your Own Project

A man said to me one time, "Jim, I've had nothing but bad breaks. If you knew my circumstances, you'd understand why I'm stuck."

I said, "Tell me about these circumstances."

He went on for a while. The economy. His boss. His upbringing. The neighborhood he grew up in. By the time he finished, he had quite a list.

I said, "That's a fascinating list. Now let me ask you something. How long have you been working on that list?"

He thought about it. "Years," he said.

I said, "What if you'd spent those same years working on yourself instead of working on that list?"

He got quiet. That's usually when the breakthrough happens — in the quiet.

The Liberation Most People Miss

Here's what I've found. Most people hear "personal responsibility" and they hear blame. They think it means everything bad that happened to you is your fault. That's not what I'm saying.

What I'm saying is this: Your life is your own project. You're the architect. Not the victim of the architecture — the architect.

Somebody says, "But Jim, I didn't choose my parents. I didn't choose where I was born."

And I say, "That's true. You didn't choose the raw materials. But you do choose what you build with them."

We call that the difference between what happens to you and what you do about what happens to you. The first part, you don't always control. The second part — that's yours. That's always yours.

My mentor Mr. Shoaff gave me a good phrase. He said, "Jim, learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job." I was 25 years old. Broke. In debt. Full of excuses — some of them pretty creative, I thought.

He said, "If you work hard on your job, you can make a living. That's noble. If you work hard on yourself, you can make a fortune. That's exciting."

I'd never heard anything like that before. Work harder on myself? I thought the problem was out there somewhere — the economy, the company, the opportunity that hadn't shown up yet.

Shoaff said, "The problem isn't out there. The problem is in here." And he pointed at me.

Now, that could sound harsh. But here's the gift in it: If the problem is out there, you're stuck. You have to wait for out there to change. But if the problem is in here, you can get started this afternoon. You can start working on the project that matters — yourself.

That's not blame. That's liberation.

The Grocery List Philosophy

I asked a fellow once, "What have you been reading lately?"

He said, "Well, I don't read much."

I said, "How come?"

He said, "I'm just too busy."

I said, "Busy doing what?"

Turns out he watched about four hours of television every night. Knew every show, every character, every plot twist. But he was too busy to read.

Now here's what's interesting. He was also unhappy with his income, his relationships, and his future. And he wanted to know what he could do about it.

I said, "Turn off the television and open a book."

He said, "You think that'll really make a difference?"

I said, "I know it will. The question is whether you'll do it."

See, personal responsibility isn't complicated. It's just uncomfortable. Most people know what they should do. Read more. Exercise more. Save more. Learn more. They're not confused about the list. They just don't want to do what's on the list.

Somebody says, "I don't have time to read."

And I say, "No, you've decided not to make time to read. That's a different statement. The first one puts you outside the problem. The second one puts you inside — where you can actually do something about it."

You Attract What You Become

Here's the big idea: Success is not something you pursue. Success is something you attract by the person you become.

Read that again. It changes everything.

If success is something out there that you have to chase, catch, capture — then you're always at the mercy of circumstances. Did the opportunity show up? Did luck find you? Did somebody give you a break?

But if success is something you attract by who you become — now you're in charge. Now you can get to work on the only project that really matters.

Want to attract better people into your life? Become better yourself. Want to attract more opportunity? Become more valuable. Want to attract wealth? Become the kind of person wealth is attracted to.

It's not magic. It's philosophy. And philosophy drives everything else.

A young woman at a seminar asked me, "Mr. Rohn, how do I get my husband to change?"

I said, "You probably can't. But here's what you can do. You can change. You can become so attractive, so interesting, so valuable, that he'll want to keep up. People tend to rise to meet the people around them — or they leave. Either way, you'll be better off."

She didn't like that answer at first. It put the work on her instead of on him. But that's exactly the point.

The Assignment

Let me leave you with something to do, my friend. Not just something to think about — something to do.

This week, I want you to make a list. Two columns.

In the first column, write down everything you've been blaming — circumstances, people, timing, luck. Get it all out. Be honest.

In the second column, next to each item, write down one thing you could do about it. Not what they could do. What you could do. One thing you can control.

Then pick one item from that second column and start today. Not tomorrow. Today.

Work harder on yourself than you do on your job. Work harder on yourself than you do on your list of excuses. Your life is your own project. You're the architect.

And my friend, you can build something remarkable with whatever raw materials you've been given.

The question isn't whether you can. The question is whether you will.